Perspective – part 2

It was into adulthood that, by sharing thoughts & feelings through my personal lens, I became aware just how very different people’s perspective could be whilst observing the same subject.

Our perspective can have a completely contrasting picture of each other, on home, on love, on work, on every aspect of life. I find it fascinating how far away our perception of the world can be from each other, apart from upbringing and cultural influences, our differing perspectives is one of those delightful traits that makes us unique.

Sensitivity

Upon sharing our perspective of a subject we are, in fact, simply sharing our opinion I guess, our opinion of something from our view point.

Whilst growing up I used to keep my opinions to myself through lack of confidence and an assumption that I may be told I was either stupid or too sensitive. There were times I felt my sensitivity was a weakness or sad, people seemed to either laugh at me or feel sorry for me. I thought that no one else thought in the same way as me, another assumption that my feelings were wrong or odd. I felt ashamed of my sensitivity.

If only I had realised that comments made about my sensitivity were simply someone else’s opinion from their perspective. If only I knew that this opinion was their thing, not mine. If only I understood then that people were not necessarily voicing their opinion from their perspective to make me feel bad. It was simply words.

Challenge

In my teens I began speaking up when the urge took me, I started to challenge certain opinions. On occasion, I gained courage, sharing my own perspective of the world. I was still quiet and lacked self confidence when speaking up in front of people, however, watch out world if someone said something I didn’t like.

If a conversation came about and I didn’t agree with someone’s perspective, almost out of nowhere, powerful fire would ignite in me and I would present this strong, passionate lioness version of myself (still can!). There was no self-righteous consideration, it was a natural and involuntary reaction.

I could not (and still do not) understand how people could be so judgemental over how someone looked or how they chose to live. People have suggested I am being virtuous but it is actually just a natural trigger that I cannot help and have to challenge. My niece is the same, she is quiet though has no inhibitions in questioning anyone who makes a judgement on someone. Maybe it’s a teen thing, laying down our personality foundation.

The challenger version of me seemed to shock people (still does!). Instead of people celebrating my stoic individualism, it was sometimes met with comments like “calm down” and “don’t be so sensitive”. Maybe it was because I was usually quiet, rarely forced my opinion. Maybe it was my delivery, all those teen hormones can certainly induce passion. Whatever the case, perplexed reactions to the lioness did not prevent me continuing to challenge. What I perceived as wrong was not what the person I challenged felt was wrong. See, it’s all opinion!

Running boy

This is a classic example of perspective, I wonder what you would conclude from this story? Whilst out walking my dog one day, at the back grounds of the Abbey in the town in which I live, a swift figure caught my eye. A tall, slim, young lad was running towards the town as if he was late for a very important date, just like the rabbit in Alice In Wonderland. He wore a rain jacket and his hood was up, even though it was not raining. Tufts of brown hair curled around the hood from the momentum of his fast pace. He then stopped running, looked around him, before taking up a normal walking motion. About 15 steps on he broke into his speedy run again. Then after about half a minute, he stopped and walked. This run/walk repeated at the hill from which he appeared all the way to the High Street.

You may not think this is unusual, neither did I, though it really does catch your attention when someone is running, very fast, in normal clothes (normal, except for the hood-up whatever the weather), he is not jogging.. Is he just hurrying to get somewhere, like the rabbit?

Now, I have seen this lad on several occasions doing exactly the same run/walk/repeat, with almost perfectly timed intervals.

My conclusion is that this is just how the young guy travels, it is brilliant to watch!

I have even found myself muttering to my dog “ooh there goes Running Boy” as the blur of a figure passes the trees beyond and fleetingly I glimpse the distinctive hood-up, that reduces to a sudden walk of determination.

Some may think this is odd behaviour but from my perspective, Running Boy has such a sense of freedom that I enjoy seeing on my dog walks. We have our “norms”, we either walk (or wheelchair) to get where you need to, or run/jog for health reasons. Running Boy seems to be in his own wonderful world of run/walk/repeat without the stereotypical requirements of reasoning, he just does his thing!

Acceptance

When I look back at the years of feeling “too sensitive ”, I have changed my perspective of how I am perceived by others. Truth is, who gives a crap…we are all wrapped up in our own little worlds to overthink people’s standard personality traits.

I am still sensitive, I cry at poignant Christmas adverts, long lost families, or Insta videos of dinky ponies visiting sick, elderly people for therapy (if you see that, I dare you not to sob happy tears! Beautiful!). I am really accepting of my empathetic ways, and realise that people don’t always see it as a weakness, they may get some security talking to someone who shows they care, which I hope I do.

This learned perspective has taught me to encourage my now teenage boys to never be afraid to have their opinion and try to always speak their truth, no matter what others may say.

I no longer feel ashamed of my sensitivity and hope my perspective lens keeps widening and changing as this life of learning twists and turns.

Has your perspective on other people changed recently? Are you aware of how you are perceived or how you perceive others for the better? Complex creatures aren’t we!